People write for different reasons. For me, it's helpful to keep my mental health in check. This is something I've never talked about to anyone really, but it's important to bring to the surface. I started my book in the summer of 2011. During college, I wrote 80% of my book. When I wrote, it was usually when I was the most stressed and needed to relax, or when I didn't feel like I could express my anger, or sadness, or excitement. For the most part, I spent college optimistic, with high hopes of what I could create with writing and with my RN degree. I finished my book on 3.14.16 @5am. All alone in my childhood bedroom, the morning I'd return to school from spring break, I felt like my hands couldn't get the story out fast enough. When I sat back and looked at my computer that held my childhood dream goal: writing a book to completion, I felt accomplished. I also began wondering what/how/when would this book truly be finished. Not for a second, did I think it would be almost 2019 and I'd still be working on my first book. I basically took a year off from looking at my book or writing in general; which was a big mistake. This let negative thoughts start consuming me. This year I haven't been motivated to go to work (but I did because bills have to get paid), or write, or socialize. I took three weeks off work in March to focus on editing my book. I edited one chapter. ONE. MEASLY. CHAPTER. in three weeks... But to be honest, for me when I'm not mentally well, I can't even motivate myself with my favorite hobby (writing because I'm a nerd). When I tried focusing, I started getting anxiety over how many pages I needed to edit. So, I took another few months off editing my book. I planned on editing a lot this summer, but I started getting numb to everything around me. I didn't get excited about much, I went through the motions at work, and to make extra money I began working more at a job that I no longer enjoyed.
In summary, when I don't write for a few days, all my goals come to a screeching halt. My motivation dips, my attitude worsens, and when I think about needing to write to reach deadlines anxiety rushes over me and the day passes without progress on anything. My life becomes a mess when I don't write.
So what's new? Why am I posting again if I'm this numb mess that isn't writing?
Because I'm better again.
Because I want to share that the process of writing a book is hard.
Because mental health is important to talk about.
Because I want you to know that no matter what your goal is, you can reach it too. We all face these up's and downs.
- I started a writing group this summer with a friend so we both could keep focused on our writing goals. Each month I track if I met my goal or if I needed to work harder at focusing. I now have a writing schedule to keep myself editing/writing on days I do and don't work. I've edited over half my book now, with 40 pages I should be working on right now to meet this week's goal.
- After spending the past 6 months getting myself back into editing my book regularly, my optimism finally clicked back on. YES. It can take 6 months or more for someone to be mentally ok again, and that's ok. I'm finally feeling like I did in college. Next weekend I'll attend my first writing conference where I'll have my manuscript reviewed. I'm excited and terrified and nervous all at once!
- After the conference, I'll be sending my book out to publishers again, as well as sending out query letters and cover letters. In addition, I plan to write 50,000 words in November towards a new book! November is National Novel Writing Month and there's a 30-day challenge for writers to write a 50,000-word novel.
Let's see how focused I can stay to my goal of 2,000 words/day while working full time!
https://nanowrimo.org
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